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Re: Ha Ha -- the joke is on me » TherapyGirl

Posted by Dinah on December 4, 2009, at 14:40:07

In reply to Re: Ha Ha -- the joke is on me » Dinah, posted by TherapyGirl on December 4, 2009, at 12:52:23

Not surprisingly, your situation did come up in therapy today. Because I know that one day I'll be in your shoes. I don't know that I asked him directly, but I do think he looked none too approving when he heard she didn't have a referral after you asked for one. As you know, mine finally gave me three names in case something ever happens to him.

But really, anyone who performs a service, professional or not, generally has a name ready. My pdoc sent out a general letter with three names, and I thought that was pretty standard. He didn't personalize it to my needs, but at least it was something.

My therapist did think about the referrals and gave the names of three people he thinks I might not dislike.

But Therapygirl, even if she's being a rotten therapist right now, to kill yourself over it is to give her more power than she frankly deserves. She's just not worth it. You have friends who care about you. You have a dog who likely worships you. And you can find another therapist. Not one to take her place. But you can find new sources of support.

I know she's let you down badly. Sometimes I wonder if the therapists we have in our head aren't significantly more sensitive and skilled than the lowly human beings we project them onto. The therapist you have in your head, the better half version of your therapist, that she can't take away.

I won't say it doesn't suck though. For all those years they say they care about us. And they even mean it at the moment. But when it comes to their life, we're going to be left in the dust.

I'm jealous of my therapist's daughter. Not because I think he's such a fabulous father. And not because I think they have a fabulous relationship. Because I sometimes think we receive the best parts of our therapists. But because no matter what happens, she'll be a part of his life. He can't walk away from her or forget her. I wish I had that. I wish I wasn't always the one left.

 

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