Posted by onceupon on September 3, 2009, at 23:40:52
In reply to Re: Wanting, posted by workinprogress on September 3, 2009, at 1:44:24
WIP - thanks for your wisdom and empathy. I appreciate hearing from someone who seems to be speaking from the other side, so to speak.
You're right - it is totally counterintuitive that leaning into the yearning might make it less. Or at least diminish the aching quality that seems to come with it.
I loved your latest epiphany too. I think part of the struggle for me, in addition to the self-berating, is the fear that this yearning will *never* shift, and that I'll be stuck in this painful middle place forever. I sometimes wonder why I do this to myself - why I sign up for such torment. Some days I wish I had never started the process, because it can be so damned painful. But your words, like Daisy's, give me hope that I'm not fated for purgatory for the rest of my existence!
I'm wondering if you can share what helped you to lessen your self-judgment. I'd like to think that I'm pretty good about catching myself when I'm judging others. But when it comes to me, I notice the judging, but often feel like I just sink into, and before I know what's happened, I'm caught up in a defeating pattern of self-loathing and self-recrimination.
Thanks so much for the understanding and encouragement. It means a lot.
poster:onceupon
thread:915522
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090730/msgs/915677.html