Posted by friesandcoke on July 18, 2009, at 20:46:36
In reply to Re: Therapist retired a year ago and still grieving, posted by pegasus on July 15, 2009, at 11:06:34
oh my gosh, i can relate so much to what you said. the therapist was assigned to by my retiring therapist had such boundary issues it was impossible to work with her but she did listn to me talk about how i missed my old therapist. but even then, she didn't give the impression she understood what i was going through. and that stunk. my old therapist understood me really well. i hate therapists now and am furious with my old therapist for retiring. i was missing her tons today though. the longer i am away from her the more i miss her. thanks for listening and for sharing too.right now i don't even want a therapist because NONE measure up. i hate all of them and leave disgusted and messed up.
> I'm so sorry you're going through this. Of course you're still grieving a year later. It was a big relationship in your life.
>
> I lost my T to a move around 5 years ago, and I still miss him quite poignantly at times. I grieved deeply for . . . oh, I'd say around three years or so. It does get easier to go through life without them. But it's always going to be a loss. Especially when you have not been able to complete the work you were doing.
>
> I also tried to work with a T that my old T recommended. Even without the boundary crossing that you report, I had trouble with it. I found myself just being generally pissed off at her all the time for not being him. She wanted to talk about my relationship with her, which infuriated me. I wanted to talk about my relationship with *him*. I didn't want to even have a relationship with *her*. So, the whole thing was probably doomed from the beginning.
>
> I think it can take some time to be ready to really work with someone else again. And that's OK. The one thing that she did help me with was just having some place to express my grief. No one in the rest of my life understood or accepted it. It's especially hard to grieve when you can't share your grief with anyone, which pretty much describes most lost-of-T grief.
>
> But this is a good place for it. People here understand. Thank goodness for babble.
>
> peg
>
poster:friesandcoke
thread:906663
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090706/msgs/907393.html