Posted by garnet71 on May 8, 2009, at 18:34:40
In reply to Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me?, posted by yellowbird01 on May 6, 2009, at 22:37:05
Hi Yellowbird,
I really couldn't be as articulate about it as I had wanted to, but I remember someone posted an article that perfectly describes the psyche of having PTSD. It's not graphic, but it's triggering, so be careful:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090416/msgs/891322.html
The article goes into the issues refugees face, and I'm assuming you are/were not a refugee, but the descriptiveness is powerful, and I'm thinking others who have/had PTSD might be able to relate. Personally, it strongly described my feelings.
I've been thinking a lot about this lately over the past couple days. And in your case, it could be that a recent event in your life triggered a PTSD that was somehow "rooted" in your childhood. One scenario off the top of my head is to think about whether you dealt with your childhood abuse/neglect issues adequately. For example, you may have dealt with the trauma intellectually, but not emotionally. Something in your adult life in general, or perhaps recently, could have triggered past emotions you felt as a child, thus triggering the PTSD to fully engage.
Also, women that were sexually abused as a child or teen are more susceptible to PTSD. I'm not implying you had experienced such abuse, but thought it was worth mentioning. This goes back to the feeling of not being able to trust....
Hypervigilence, very common with PTSD, was the symptom that caused me the most distress..it was awful, and all the time. This strongly links to that feeling of not being able to trust. Take a look at this and see if it sounds familar:
http://cbkit.tripod.com/id14.html
http://www.johncflanaganlcsw.com/articles/Hypervigilance.htm
Hang in there--it will get better :-)
poster:garnet71
thread:894593
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090421/msgs/894802.html