Posted by rskontos on April 7, 2009, at 20:15:28
In reply to Re: I need some help and support......possible trigger » rskontos, posted by seldomseen on April 7, 2009, at 12:16:01
> AS a teacher, both at a university and a community college I can say without equivocation that most of your fears are not specific to you or your diagnosis. They are something that most students experience when starting their education. Like any other subject, fear can be wrangled and mastered by actively engaging and challenging that fear.
You are right. I am going to follow through. I have already been accepted to a satellite school IUPUI in the area I plan to major in.
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> As far as your list:
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> 1. Too old
> The older students in my classes always add so much to the class. They typically bring in a wealth of experience. The older student typically *wants* to be there rather than *has* to be there. It makes a world of difference.Yes when I got my first BS I was older even then at 24-25. It took me four years to finish. And I maintained a 4.00 in my major all through school and graduated magna cum laude from Vanderbilt.
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> 2. will dissociate too much
> I don't mean to sound glib, but if you could stand in the front of the classroom, you would see a fair (understatement) amount of dissociation, even from those without the disorder. I consider myself to be a pretty engaging instructor but sometimes blank stares, yawning, glazing, sleeping, doodling, twirling hair - oh its all par for the course. Any instructor worth his/her salt can deal with this and help the students make up what they zoned out on. Repetition of the material is the key. If you missed it the first time, don't worry, it will be coming around again.LOL, I hadn't thought of that. I know alot of students don't want to be there.
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> 3. money it will cost
> Yes, it costs money, so I would do a careful cost-benefit analysis of the potential gain versus the potential expenditure. Learning and expanding can certainly occur outside of classroom.
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> 4. being self conscious in a class with so many younger
> Again, this can be an issue - or it can not. I can promise you this- the students do not care who is in the class with them, not at all. AS the semester progesses, the class itself comes together as an entity.Yes this is something I gotta get over. I need to reengage with the human race. I have isolated myself over the last 9 years.
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> 5. being smart enough although T thinks I am very bright (still cant wrap my arms around that.)
> Being smart has absolutely nothing to do with being in school. Intelligence is a poor predictor, IMO, of "success" - which by the way is up to you to define. Instead, tt has everything to do with preparation and skills acquisition. Instead of jumping right into Advanced Differential Equations, you might want to start with a more basic mathematics course and build your confidence and your skills as you go.Yeah I will admit math is the subject I am most afraid of even though I made A's in high school in Alegbra I and II. Science classes I love so I am not so afraid of them.
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> 6. still having a hard time with my dx and the fact that the dx means trauma of a large magnitude happened. Regardless how much I remember, which is still small.
> I think your diagnosis may *describe* a set of symptoms you are experiencing, but it in no way *defines* who you are or what you are capable of. If you are having a hard time with your diagnosis, then as radical as this may sound, I think you should *discard it*. It's just words on a form when it comes down to it.
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Yeah you sound like my T when I told him this, he shrugged his shoulders and said I really hate DX's. So I try to avoid them as much as possible. He focuses on helping with the symptoms like you said.
> 7. don't feel I deserve it.
> So you don't feel as though you deserve to learn and grow? I don't know you from Adam's housecat, but I can tell you without reserve that it is a *basic human right* to improve ourselves, pursue happiness and knowledge as and when we see fit. This tape that is playing in your head telling you otherwise needs to be ejected as forcefully as you can manage.This made me cry. I know I am human but I need to think of myself more kindly in that light. Thanks so much
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> Hope this helps, just my two cents. Of course, the decision to pursue or not is ultimately yours.
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> Peace
> Seldom.Your 2 cents: priceless
Peace back at you. And thanks for the support and thoughtful answer.
rsk
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poster:rskontos
thread:889202
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090328/msgs/889309.html