Posted by MusicLuv on February 27, 2009, at 15:03:09
In reply to Re: not ok and T doesn't care, posted by antigua3 on February 27, 2009, at 14:48:19
Thank You Everyone,
I'm trying really hard but last night was very out of my character. I'm in a place right now where at some point it becomes more important to dull the pain than to care about my actions.
In Therapy we're talking about why I'm afraid to talk about the details of what happened to me, and starting to get into the deep stuff. Talking about it brings up flashbacks and I don't sleep well, which just makes the days hard and I am getting sick of the whole cycle.
I don't usually get suicidal, and when I do, I'm not the type to call and ask for help. If I'm really at that point, I feel no need to call someone who will try and stop me. I'm not quite there yet, but I feel it coming on.
I'm upset with my T. I very VERY rarely call her at all, and never in the middle of the night. She always says "you can call me anytime. my phone is always on". There have been a few times that she didn't answer and she called me right back, but not this time. An hour later I even texted her "I really needed you but I'm fine. Goodnight." I was sure she'd call today, but nothing. I'm not close to my family so she's as close as it gets, and it seems like she just doesn't care much. I really thought she did....
I don't know what else to say. I'm not totally sure I'll make it through this day.
Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to me and write such thoughtful words. I'm really grateful.
~ ML
poster:MusicLuv
thread:882816
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090227/msgs/882849.html