Posted by raisinb on February 21, 2009, at 13:05:54
I had a very vivid dream that I've been thinking about for the last couple of weeks. I can't quite get my head around it, so I thought I'd ask for everyone's wisdom. I think it's about my T being gone in some way, but I can't get any insights beyond that.
I dreamed I went to Ohio (where I am from, where my family still lives) and had a couple of things happen. First I was trying to sleep and my mom was walking loudly around her office (outside my childhood bedroom) so I couldn't sleep. Then I overslept and didnt make it to work.
Then I went to see my pdoc (my current one--she doesn't live in Ohio in reality, of course) and for some reason she was a gynecologist, too. She told me I needed surgery. I wasnt clear on why.
I asked my mom and she said there was a mass and that my pdoc didnt know what it was. I talked to a close current friend and she said it was basically a baby that had died inside me (but used the my name in describing ita baby that had not been "raisin"ed? Had been "raisin"ed? Dont know).
And then I was terribly sad about that, or anticipated being terribly sad about it. And then I thought, no, it could be cancer. I realized thats what my mother mustve thought when I had mentioned being upset about it, and thats why she wasnt talking about it. And then I was wondering when I could go back to Illinois (where I live now) so that I could get on with my current life, go to work, etc. I wanted to get back. I told my mom, well, my pdoc doesnt have to do the surgery. I can get a doctor in IL to do it.
But my mom said, yes she does! and that I would definitely have to wait until my particular pdoc was available. And when the nurse came out to get me for the surgery it was a nurse from a former gynecologist's office, and she remembered me--which I didn't like, since I didn't end on good terms with that OBGYN. That OB didn't like the fact that I have a particular condition that I didn't go into see her often enough about.
I also had a terrible fight with my brother about who had the remote. We both wanted to control things.
I remember noticing and thinking it was odd that my pdoc wasnt wearing her wedding ring while she was examining me. And then I thought, well, guess she wouldnt wear it while shed digging around in peoples "stuff."
And I ended the dream still waiting around for her schedule to open up, so I could get on with the surgery, and get back to my life.
Thoughts?
poster:raisinb
thread:881499
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090214/msgs/881499.html