Posted by rskontos on February 13, 2009, at 15:26:58
In reply to Re: Apparently I am hard to get.. (triggery + long) » rskontos, posted by Sharon7 on February 13, 2009, at 6:10:59
> Good morning, rskontos. I'm glad you shared how you are feeling and what you are going through. I'm sorry this is such a difficult time for you. Never think you don't 'deserve' to be able to share what's going on in your life with people who understand and care.
>
> I did want to mention as far as tension at work is concerned, about a year ago, my good friend that used to sit next to me transferred to another department. Her desk remained vacant for a while which was fine with me because I actually prefer to be alone, but this one girl was so cool, we actually got to be good work friends.
>
> Anyway, about 6 months ago, this other girl moved in over there, and she's never been friendly so I was kind of bummed. Well, she's ended up being even worse than I thought. She won't speak to me. She doesn't say good morning, good night, the couple times I've tried to talk to her, she looks at me like "why are you talking to me?" On a VERY rare occassion she will talk to me. She has other friends, so I know she can be friendly; I also know I'm not the only person she's rude to. She is a little odd (aren't we odd) so I just let her be, but it's still hard, after sitting by someone you really liked and who was so cheerful and nice. I used to tell her she was like a ray of sunshine in the morning. The girl was never in a bad mood. She was/is so sweet. So to go from that, to total silence, it's been rather stressful actually. Thankfully I am getting more used to it.
>
> I hope your situation gets better. I'm sorry it's causing you so much stress and causing you to have the dissociative episodes. Just keep talking, to you T, to us. It's tough right now, but it will get better. Hang in there. You are not alone. I know it feels like that a lot, huh?
>
> SharonSharon,
Thanks for telling me your situation. It does help because I do feel alone. I sometimes, so often, feel unfit to be out. I am either silent or too talkative.
I tried to explain to t, how certain aspects of my "inners" want to tell people stuff to see what they are made of. I don't know how to describe it. And during the whole of my childhood/teenager years I used talking to keep people from asking questions about "what was going on at home". So in situations I, or the inside me(s), perceive to be threatening they revert back to that old behavior and I can't seem to stop it. But I am trying. The bad thing is it also brings back old things in my head people used to always say to me. You know those long ago voices that haven't died but should.
I am sorry to that you have lost someone that made work more fun. Because let's face it work needs to be somewhat enjoyable.
Again,
thanks for sharing and reminding me I need to be open here so that I can get the help I need.
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:879687
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090129/msgs/879927.html