Posted by seldomseen on February 12, 2009, at 16:25:10
In reply to Anyone else think about it this way? *may trigger*, posted by TherapyGirl on February 11, 2009, at 16:28:05
I do understand where your coming from. Knowing that there is at least one absolute out is very freeing.
I will not, for a lot of reasons, give myself permission to kill myself. What I have done, however, is give myself permission to just surrender to the sad and go into hospital.
The burden of "being normal" on top of the grief is what gets me, not the actual grief I think. It's the desire to be and act "well". The necessity of all the trappings of living can be so heavy.
As much as it scares me to think about it, if I went into the hospital, then I just wouldn't have to pretend anymore. I can just let it all go and "live" what's in my head. I could be the moribund mess that I feel like sometimes inside.I'm not there yet, but, realistic or not, it is my out.
Seldom.
poster:seldomseen
thread:879490
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090129/msgs/879686.html