Posted by seldomseen on December 21, 2008, at 7:12:14
In reply to Re: Is therapy just blowing ----- EVERYONE, posted by Looney Tunes on December 21, 2008, at 0:27:58
1. Transference
I understand the role of this in our lives. But I also understand that T's do things to enhance it or make it more intense. I guess that these extreme feelings are true, but to me making the feelings more intense by "doing something" does not seem helpful to me, but more hurtful. For example, a T purposely forgetting to do something, so that a client reacts. Why bring those out with a purposeful act?***I simply can not imagine a T deliberately trying to promote or exacerbate transference, either positive or negative. I think that is sadistic and wrong. If you suspect your T is willfully trying to hurt you or get you to worship him, then you should talk to them about it. I don't think T's do this at all.******
"Witti and others who had no problem with a T "supporting" both a client who was abused and a client who is an abuser, I must still disagree on this, although I read with depth your responses. How can a T sit in a room and bare witness to the pain that an abused client experiences and say things regarding that the abuser was wrong, etc etc while in the another session, listen to the behaviors of an abuser? I am not saying we are all "good" but to me, it is the same as someone who wants claims to help protect the environment, but turns around and buys a Hummer. (And especially with sexual abusers because the recidivism rate is SO high)."
****First, does your T treat abusers? Usually, those patients are treated by forensic psycholgist/psychiatrists.
Second, if a T, regardless of their speciality, is treating an abuser they are, I believe, bound by law to report if that person admits abusing again. It's not as though they can legally provide support to someone who is actively injuring others. Unconditional positive regard only goes so far, and usually doesn't apply in forensic psychiatry, where the focus is on getting the behaviors to STOP, then treating the whole person.
Third, I tend to think of it as I would a physician treating BOTH a gunshot victim AND the person who shot them. That physician has a moral obligation to provide aid, regardless of the origin of the illness/injury.*****"Someone wrote about T's motives of needing the weekly paycheck. That's a true possibility. So is the motive of a T doing their job so they can "feel good about themselves" because (1) they see people who are worse off them they or (2) we, as clients "worship" them and need them so much.
I think these are valid issues."****The therapist/client relationship is a fiduciary one, amidst other things. They earn money by helping us. I think the other things you mentioned, again, fall into the realm of sadism and are not therapy at all. If you suspect this is the case with your T, again, you need to get to the bottom of it.******
"And if a T is "taught" unconditional positive regard, then no matter who walks thru the door, they can use their skills to develop a relationship with that client. It is like a teacher with a class ~ even if they disliked a student, the teacher STILL has to teach that student.
So, because of this unconditional positive regard, we can never really be sure if our T's are real or if there are other motives behind them, or if they are just practicing unconditional positive regard."This IS a tough one. I know I've struggled with it. I know others on this board have as well. A lot of T's because of ethical and legal issues can not admit they care about a client.
I think it would be nice if I were so strong and powerful that I could reach a place where it didn't matter if my therapist cared about me - just that he helped me. I'll never be there. It matters.
I know my T cares about me, but I've been seeing him for 8 years. For me, a level of trust and just "knowing" has developed with time.
Plus, over this time, I think he has developed a level of trust with me. So he has told me as much.
We also have to come to a place where we trust that a T's motives are pure. I hear you loud and clear that you are not at that place yet. When I first started therapy, I accused my T of just about every eggregious thing you can think of. I was constantly looking for a reason NOT to trust him.
Again, I go back to my original advice, talk, talk, talk, talk.
I found that the intent of my therapist was to render aid, to treat and to help me heal.Seldom
poster:seldomseen
thread:869336
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081219/msgs/870002.html