Posted by lucie lu on December 4, 2008, at 15:04:57
In reply to Sorry for the pity party (nm), posted by antigua3 on December 4, 2008, at 8:41:58
Antigua,
Thank you for sharing with us such very important parts of your family life. It is very brave of you to make the decision to share these intimate details. Although these are obviously not happy memories, I feel I am continuing to get to know more about you from what you've written. I like that part, but am sorry that they make things so painful and difficult for you right now.
You really had a perfect storm converge upon you last week. There was Thanksgiving, the unofficial beginning of the holiday season. The holidays always seem to provoke seismic tremors that resonate, with unerring accuracy, with unhappy memories of family dysfunction and personal loss. That this aspect of the holidays is widespread doesn't invalidate its power in the least; a tsunami can strike a very crowded beach without attenuating the height of the wave or the depth of human tragedy that follows. Simply, the holidays can be a very sad time of year that can invoke unresolved losses.
You describe, very bravely and eloquently, what it was like for you and your family when you were growing up. From your description, it reminds me of a solar system gone amuck: the sun (your mom), not secured within her own well-balanced orbit, topples erratically along its own unpredictable path. The smaller bodies orbit around anything they can find or simply cease orbiting and allow themselves to be ejected into space (maybe to find a better star system?). And the holidays just bring all of these celestial wonders into close focus for you. Is it any surprise how shaky you might feel right now and how much you need your T to keep her orderly orbit? But then she starts forgetting, which shakes your connection somewhat, and you begin to worry, will she too become dysfunctional, and what would happen to this new solar system that you now both part of?
No, this is no pity party. It is just life being challenging again, as it is wont to be, which is why we all need each other to get through. I'm glad that you have us at Babble, and that we have you.
Hugs and peace, antigua...
Lucie
poster:lucie lu
thread:866408
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/866681.html