Posted by Dinah on November 21, 2008, at 12:27:46
In reply to Well, I slept on it - trigger perhaps, posted by seldomseen on November 21, 2008, at 5:41:47
> I think the best thing for me to do would be to bring this feeling up to him.
I agree completely. What you decide from there may depend on how he responds.
> I think some of my concerns/complaints are legitimate, some may even be quit worthy.
Absolutely.
> What I'm absolutely sure about is that these breaches are traumatizing to me.> No one is perfect, and no relationship is perfect but we've got to figure out a way to minimize these traumas. They (obviously) cause me a lot of stress and disrupt the therapeutic relationship.
I agree completely. That's part of long term therapy, that if one party does things that consistently harms the relationship (*especially* the therapist), they need to do something to show genuine regret, take responsibility, and come up with a way to address the issue.
> If my primary concern in therapy now is attachment, it really undermines my efforts if he forgets about me, locks me out and isn't available.
>
> Frankly, my therapy is already quite sexual (in words not actions) so all he needs to do is start hitting me and it's my parents all over again.That statement concerns me a bit. Especially since you say he's going through a divorce? Do you think the sexual element is to benefit you or to benefit him at a time when his personal life is iffy?
> AS much as I value him, this has got to be fixed.
>
> Seldom.It does. It might mean he needs supervision or therapy himself right now. His personal troubles may be interfering with his ability to be there for you, and as I told my therapist, that really is not acceptable. Not in therapy.
poster:Dinah
thread:864258
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/864433.html