Posted by seldomseen on November 6, 2008, at 16:34:24
In reply to Re: Longings in therapy. CSA tigger » seldomseen, posted by DAisym on November 6, 2008, at 15:53:49
Well, when my therapist thinks I'm sexy - he'll tell me - always has, always will I think. It's almost like he gets caught up in the way I am in that moment(Yeah-talk about transference!!). Anyway, we were discussing an aspect of my work that I find particularly enjoyable and he asked if he could participate.
I was a little shocked that he would try to put himself in that. He does that with sexual dreams -he'll cast himself as the male etc...
I've been with him long enough that I tell myself all is fair all long as we both stay in our seats, but these recent events popped up as bothering me, so we talked about it.
The CSA dream dredged up a host of badness I guess.
I'm terrified of my therapist as well. He is so valuable to me at the same time. So there is this absolute fear of abandonment coupled with terror at what he could be capable of.
Oh lord! It is such mess sometimes, but these are fears that I manage, but am still working on overcoming. I can not accept that I can never fully trust someone. I will beat this yet.
Gosh, but it's a long road.
Seldom.
poster:seldomseen
thread:861075
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/861152.html