Posted by Trotter on November 2, 2008, at 13:02:55
In reply to Re: Desire versus Acceptance, posted by turtle on November 1, 2008, at 11:02:16
Hi Turtle,
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> When Passion is set up as an opposite of Acceptance, it makes Acceptance feel like "settling for less".If one has a persistent feeling that one is "settling for less", then one is not truly accepting the situation, at least not from an emotional perspective. One can make a conscious decision to accept a situation and still not accept it emotionally. If one feels one is settling for less, then one is feeling lack, and this will certainly not encourage contentment. BTW, I do believe passion works in opposition to acceptance, which is a potential problem.
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>There is another way of looking at acceptance - "opening to all".Yes, I agree an attitude of being "open to all" does encourage acceptance and therefore contentment.
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> When I look at the history of the relationships throughout my life, for the most part I always maintain quite a bit of distance. (I'm working on this in therapy.) There was one relationship though that stands out from the others in it's intensity and closeness. It was an unconventional relationship, and I knew I was going to get hurt. A huge shift occurred in me. It was only through complete acceptance (being open, absorbing everything, not trying to change the situation, accepting both the intensely good and the intensely painful) that I was able to experience the passion. I learned that you can't exclude the pain without also excluding the good things. I also learned to allow opposite truths to both exist at the same time.Sounds like a submissive relationship. Some people find happiness in this form of relationship. In fact it is normal for women to be totally submissive in some cultures. Provided one exercises complete acceptance, this can certainly be a path to happiness. However it does make one very dependent on one's partner.
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> To some extent I see "desire to be happy" as flawed in that it is focused on only allowing the good. I see Acceptance as allowing *all* to be, absorbing and opening to it all. In giving up the struggle to exclude the painful you also find a way to open the door to the Passion.Nice approach. Take the good with the bad.
Trotter
poster:Trotter
thread:860124
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/860393.html