Posted by happyflower on November 1, 2008, at 17:12:04
In reply to Re: Grieving my childhood and adulthood » happyflower, posted by Partlycloudy on November 1, 2008, at 16:47:22
Hi PC,
I am so glad you responded, I am feeling kind of down today, must be the cloudy weather I think. I just need a friend to talk to so thanks.
I am thinking that the grieving process must be gradual because you don't always know all that was effected. I think the book I mentioned would be a good one for you. It sounds corny and the reviews you read are about boundaries. But what is says on why we have problems, is so right on the dot. We both have had our childhood boundaries disturbed in many ways. I think my lady T is thinking I might have some SA issues too and after reading this book, it seems like I sure have some signs of it. I sure was feeling sexual feeling at an early age, maybe it was because I hit puberty at 9, I don't know. All that stuff even if we aren't aware of it, effects how we deal with people.
I like what the books says about intimate relationship, whether friendship or marriage. It talks about true emotional intimacy is when both people are whole. In this book I saw that problems I am having in my marriage and why it is working and not working.In friendships either I am too eager to create intimacy or I am too scared of it, both wrecks relationships. I either get scared off by others trying to create closeness or I say something too personal to create that closeness too soon.
I have also been very hurt by my childhood best friend in high school. We were inseparable in elementary through 9th grade, but then this other girl got in the way. I still have nightmares of her leaving me. IT was gradual, but all of sudden I was without my best friend and I felt so alone in my life. I had friends in my group, but not a close girlfriend. I am missing that now in my life. I think my past has something to do with it.
Having a women T is different, you were right. But for the first time I am talking to someone who understand my emotions because of my past. She just gets it and that is so strange for me because I don't ever feel like I am accepted anywhere because I am so weird.
She asks me so many questions and there are some I just can't answer, and that must tell her a lot. Maybe my past relationships with girls and my mom, ruined that connection that many women have.
Do you ever just get angry that because of your childhood, things are so much harder now?
poster:happyflower
thread:860180
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/860246.html