Posted by healing928 on October 22, 2008, at 20:56:34
In reply to Re: Pain is part of life, but suffering is a choice???, posted by Dinah on October 22, 2008, at 20:02:58
My mother has narcissistic personality disorder, and did some very abusive things. I could let her bahvior eat at me for the rest of my life, or I can make a choice to treat her with compassion. Look at what she went through as a child and what her life has been like. From my experience, compassion helps foster forgiveness which alleviates my deep angry heart.
"So, for example, if my mother was a very bad mother I would feel pain from her bad mothering. But suffering would come from not accepting that she was a bad mother, continuing to look to her for good mothering, or trying to change her into a good mother, or maybe even holding myself responsible for her being a bad mother. The end of suffering would come from realizing she is a bad mother, she has always been a bad mother, nothing I can do can change her into a good mother, and I will go through my life with the painful experience of having had a bad mother."
poster:healing928
thread:858817
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/858847.html