Posted by seldomseen on October 20, 2008, at 6:34:05
In reply to Want to know more about ruptures, posted by lucie lu on October 19, 2008, at 13:33:12
As you said, some ruptures are quite subtle. They usually hit me several days after therapy, or the night after the session.
I have a bad habit of what I call "kitchen sinking". SOmething bad will happen in therapy (or any relationship) and I start to remind myself of every single other thing that has ever bothered me in the past about that relationship. It's like "Oh yeah, and he did this and this and that and that" Everything but the kitchen sink gets thrown in.
By the time I got to the next session, or got so worked up I called him, it had turned into a full-fledged fight (in my mind at least).
I'm much better at NOT doing that now. In fact, a few sessions back I commented that I had quit keeping score with him years ago.
The little ruptures don't get to me as much because I know that I can trust him and trust his motives. He is human after all, and though he knows me very well, there is no way he could know what's going to bother me. Unless I tell him. So I usually do let him know and we talk about it.
"Make up therapy" is the best therapy of all. You just have to work to get to it.
Seldom
poster:seldomseen
thread:858244
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/858376.html