Re: How often do you....? » JayMac

Posted by 10derHeart on October 14, 2008, at 23:47:21

In reply to How often do you....?, posted by JayMac on October 14, 2008, at 22:27:25

First thing when I wake up.
Last thing before I go to sleep.
Many, many times throughout the day.
He is never, ever far from my mind or heart. Next to my immediate family - and oftentimes it feels - equal to them - he is the most important person on earth for me.
I have running talks with him in my head every day, from mundane things to huge things that leave me crying just imagining sharing them with him for real.
Of course, for me, since I moved away and am not "technically" in therapy any more, these things are surely heightened and intensified. But even for the 3.5 years I saw him 1-2x a week, I still thought of him nearly this often. Also, I am a single person with few friends close to me in my life right now, so I do know everything gets focused on him and only him. He bears up under all that pretty well, I must say. Not that it's *bad* but I just mean it's sort of a large responsibility and something he surely has to give some thought to sometimes, to keep his boundaries and be there for me at the same time. He's pretty darn good at it, somehow. Mutual trust goes a long, long way in all this.
There is so much intimacy and so much love. I am not embarrassed about it. No, I don't share it with others IRL, but that's a general avoidance of sharing *anything* about feelings for a therapist, because I just know they don't/won't get any of it. I don't have any family or friends who have ever been to a therapist.
My T. knows almost everything about it. It comes up in email often and I brought up these feelings and cried rivers of tears about the pain of the attachment for months and months before I moved. He is okay with all of it and treats it honorably and gently. He has never suggested I try to *not* feel that way, or think of him less or anything. He seems to be okay with just letting it be.
well, you did ask! ;-)
JayMac, I'm really enjoying your questions a lot. Keep them coming, please.

Thread

How often do you....? JayMac 10/14/08
Re: How often do you....? turtle 10/14/08
Re: How often do you....? » JayMac 10derHeart 10/14/08
Re: How often do you....? Suedehead 10/15/08
Re: How often do you....? Cal 10/15/08
Re: How often do you....? » JayMac sassyfrancesca 10/15/08
Re: How often do you....? » JayMac Dinah 10/15/08
Re: How often do you....? FindingMyDesire 10/15/08
Re: How often do you....? Suedehead 10/15/08
Re: How often do you....? » Dinah Phillipa 10/15/08
Re: How often do you....? » Suedehead 10derHeart 10/15/08
Re: How often do you....? JouezMoi 10/15/08
Re: How often do you....? » 10derHeart Suedehead 10/15/08
Absolutely!! » Suedehead lucie lu 10/15/08
Re: How often do you....? twinleaf 10/15/08
...
Re: How often do you....? Morgan79 10/20/08

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poster:10derHeart thread:857503
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/857513.html