Posted by Dinah on October 13, 2008, at 20:18:55
In reply to Re: So scared, posted by JayJ on October 13, 2008, at 7:55:39
My therapist was saying that this couldn't possibly have started when I think it did, with my brother. That my reaction was too infantile. Then he assured me he didn't mean the bad sort of infantile. He meant the primitive sort of infantile.
I told him about the dream, and how my mother thinks it could actually have happened, but how I didn't think it was possible that I could dream about it because I'd have been nine or ten months old, most likely. I don't really believe I could have memories from that age. But my therapist thinks it explains things better. I'm not sure how. I had the dream before my brother came, but the fear only exploded out of control after he came. I had it before, but it didn't drive my life.
The dream was about being in what seems to be a playpen with three other babies. One of them throws up and is taken away to be cleaned up, but I'm left dirty. It would be linked with abandonment, because that would have been when my mother put me in daycare for the first time to go back to work.
Then the obvious parallel when my brother came to live with us, another abandonment.
To my mind it has to be symbolic rather than a real memory.
But the knowledge has never helped much. I've known forever. Even back when I was uncommunitive with my therapist when I was an adolescent.
poster:Dinah
thread:857131
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/857300.html