Posted by seldomseen on September 29, 2008, at 7:21:38
In reply to Re: What's the most inane conversation you've ever had, posted by Nadezda on September 28, 2008, at 10:51:51
Just about everything you said in your post has crossed my mind since the session. You're absolutely right, the notebook incident is proving not to be so inane after all.
I can certainly see how it was a big deal for him.
However, what is emerging as a big deal to me is the concept of "slapping my hand" - something that he said over and over again.
This phrase is what eventually made me mad during the session and continues to nag at me. The notion of him slapping my hand is so condescending.
The idea of him even thinking he is in a position where he could "slap my hand" - as though I were a naughty toddler - is upsetting.
I am a strong competent woman who is struggling right now with some pretty big mental health issues.
These issues do not negate my personal efficacy or the equality in the relationship that I should have with my therapist.
I've been in therapy for a long time. It has been many many years since I viewed the relationship as having a power differential. In fact, if anything, I have felt as though if there were a differential, I was the "power player" so to speak because, ultimately I pay him for his services. But that differential is negligible. It has felt like "we" for years.
I question though, what he thinks now.
I work with a lot of physicians and am privvy to the way in which most physicians and providers think about their patients. Every now and again, a physician will pop up with the "I know everything and my patients are stupid sheep" type philosophy. Those doctors, in my experience, are actually quite rare. Even in those rare instances, I have never heard one use the phrase "slap their hand" in reference to a patient. Never.
Once again, I wish he had just kept his mouth shut about the incident and let me tell him how I felt about it (which was no feeling at all). His insistence and repetitious use of demeaning language has caused this to blossom into a serious serious rift.
Seldom
poster:seldomseen
thread:854263
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/854741.html