Posted by Dinah on September 20, 2008, at 10:32:37
In reply to Your feelings about your partner's T, posted by Wittgensteinz on September 20, 2008, at 4:22:00
A long time ago my husband saw a therapist short term for anxiety. I think it was CBT. She gave him a guided relaxation tape and taught him mindfulness techniques. I can't say it stuck.
But I do remember being worried what he says about me. My husband isn't as accepting of the flaws of others as I am, and while I might gripe about him in therapy, I think the tone would be different if he complained about me.
I might have mentioned my fears to him, and he probably said something sharp in reply, and I let it drop.
Unfortunately I know what my husband thinks of me. I guess it would only really matter if he said so to someone I know, like my therapist maybe.
I would have gone to a joint session if I needed to. Head down and shoulders braced. But a joint session at my therapist was bad enough. I don't think I'd have been happy about going to his therapist.
Fortunately, it didn't come up.
Sometimes I wish my husband went to therapy or took meds for anxiety instead of getting all tense and angry at home in response to stress. Venting to a stranger would beat venting to me. As long as he saw someone committed to maintaining a marriage, I'd be ok with that. In the early years of my therapy my therapist often suggested divorce as a viable alternative. I wasn't open to that possibility. But I wouldn't want to test my husband if someone kept telling him it was the "right" decision for him and/or our son.
It's a mixed bag, isn't it? We'd like them to be thoroughly therapized, but it's scary to think about.
poster:Dinah
thread:853056
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/853071.html