Posted by sassyfrancesca on September 17, 2008, at 10:23:41
In reply to Re: T Touching Himself, posted by Wittgensteinz on September 17, 2008, at 9:19:49
> Sassy,
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Hey, Witti:> I can understand your reaction - when I was at university my first year tutor would rub his thighs with his hands and fidget with his hands in his pockets - I had either one-on-one tutorials with him or along with another female student - that was awkward enough and I didn't have any feelings toward him - after a while I joked about it with the other student and we soon had great difficulty not cracking up during the tutorials. It was odd as this man was not creepy or perverse in any other way as far as I could see. Perhaps just a bad habit.
Yup, that might have made me twitch, LOL!
>
> As for you and your T, I can't imagine how awkward that must have felt - especially given the history and the nature of the situation. Absolutely!Did he offer an explanation for his behaviour? Actually, I asked him and he said: "It feels good." Sheesh....I imagine master****** would feel good too, but he wouldn't do that in front of me!
Did he just keep on doing it after you reacted? He stopped.
Was it something unconscious do you think or something calculated?
I almost think it was calculated.
Has he done anything like this before?
Oh, Witti; if you only knew.....years of sexual innuendo, then he goes into his professional mode; very confusing.
If he's always fidgeting or moving about in his seat, then maybe it wasn't meant in the way you feel it was.
No he isn't always, but he strokes his face, hair, the lace on the table, LOL; he is (as he says) "very tactile."
Is this a switch from verbal suggestion to gestural suggestion?
No....he has done something else I always thought sexually provocative....making his tongue go back and forth; I ignore it.
Or was it something simple - that he had an itch, was uncomfortable or cold and was inadvertently smoothing his legs.
Nope, he just said "it feels good."
>
> I think it can be that a person touching their body in a certain way in the presence of another is a provocative act to get a physical response - but this is just one possibility - we touch ourselves for many reasons - for example, holding our fingers to our mouths when feeing anxious or uncertain, fiddling with ones hair or clothes when nervous... or suggestive stroking.This was definitely "suggestive stroking.:
efiIt's a pity you couldn't have another T to help you analyse your current T's behaviour. Absolutely! LOL
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> If I were you, I'd be scared where this could lead - what it will open up. That said, there's blatantly a huge elephant in the room that needs to be tackled sooner or laterI certainly know that. I have a whole speech ready...as in....how could you lead me on....and how if he was in love with me and struggling with his feelings, I would forgive that, BUT, if (as he says) he has a happy marriage; that means he was exploiting and using me. I won't forgive that.
eona- would his actions here be a good way to start? Is it possible to have a blunt and honest conversation about all that's going on in the room but isn't being spoken?
Not ready for all of that yet, but I WILL talk to him about the stroking thing and tell him just how it made me feel.
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> That fact he asked if it was 'disrespectful' is interesting - why would you ask that if you were just inadvertantly scratching your leg - it does make it sound like he was doing something more calculated/conscious.It seems that way. After, all he KNEW what he was doing; it was not subconscious.
(Hmm.. then again, that could be a T's response if a client caught him yawning...).
We shall see next week (oh, 2 weeks ago, he threw me on the couch 7-8 times).
He had said: "I am a fantastic kisser" and "I can go all night long." Now, how professional is THAT...and as far as I am concerned that is an invitation for me to find out (although I know he would deny that).....for what reason, do I have to know that!
Thanks so much for your good input, ((Witti))
Hugs, Sassy
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> Witti
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poster:sassyfrancesca
thread:852422
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/852441.html