Posted by Partlycloudy on September 13, 2008, at 20:23:55
My task from my last session was to come up with a "gripe list" - just putting down all the stuff that's bugging me, whether it's big or little, recent or ancient history. It was really hard for me to get down and dirty (and petty), but that's what my T asked me to do whenever I would feel my back twinge. It did help with the pain somewhat.
But it was so difficult to write this stuff down. And to feel the relief that just releasing the thoughts was doing for my body - that was hard to reconcile. I'm actually doing this to myself by NOT letting this anger and resentment OUT - it's turning right around and attacking my own body because it's got nowhere else to go.
Unsurprisingly, I've been doing much more isolating, finding it impossible to leave the house for the simplest of tasks most days. I'm made immobile by my misery and anger, is how this feels. Not that I'm afraid that I'll lash out or break down if I'm out in public; more like I just can't be bothered to make any effort beyond feeling the pain in my back, the pain behind my eyes, and know that somehow, my mind has the ability to help unlock my body from its own prison.
It feels like something is on my horizon.
poster:Partlycloudy
thread:851847
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/851847.html