Posted by sunnydays on August 14, 2008, at 21:51:24
In reply to The truth has come out., posted by Amanda29 on August 14, 2008, at 19:47:28
I have had the emailing discussion with my T - I used to email him a lot too, just to hope for a tiny response. It really helped me when he gave me a number and said, "You can email me twice a week." And it was clear from our discussion that was now all I was allowed. It hurt like hell at the time, and it was quite a painful time in therapy in general, but it also helped me with the transference. It's unrealistic for him to just ask you to work on it - I know from experience that with me, that doesn't work. Can you discuss the issues of boundaries with him and ask him to tell you specifically where his are? If you explain you are worried about being too dependant and about ruining this relationship, I think his perspective would shift dramatically. It's that self-awareness that they look for in deciding if you're 'too' dependant I think. If it's causing you to worry, it sounds like something you need to talk directly about with your T and set up specific 'rules'. I know that it's a terribly hard conversation (and I was lucky not to have to be the one to start it, in some ways), but it was really necessary for me to move forward.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:846266
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080810/msgs/846290.html