Posted by Amanda29 on August 14, 2008, at 19:47:28
I am really upset right now and I don't know how to handle things so I need some support. I got records from my previous psychiatrist because i needed to get my medication list and while I was at it, I asked for my last 2 sessions. (they terminated me) I got them, and I read them, and well, I agree with a lot of what she said, but she didnt say it all, and I feel at fault for a lot of what was said. What scares me the most is that a lot of what happened between my psychiatrist and psychotherapist is NOW happening with my "new" psychologist.
There were things such as my being dependent on hearing my therapist call me and hearing her voice. My driving by to see if my therapist was actually there...(which I do not do with my pschologist) I found out where my therapist lived..which she did NOT know...and I told my psychologist that that was not going to happen to him..and yet just this past week I found out where he lives. But, I refurse to drive by or around his neighborhood...even though I know people that live on his same street. I used to call my therapist and psychiatrist a lot during the day and whereas I do NOT call my T on his work phone I have called his cell phone a couple of times during the week and he just today questioned it. Also, I email him..the worst it has gotten is 15 emails a day...that is bad. I dont like doing so...I honestly don't.
I am freaked out because part of the reason why my previous doctors let me go was because of severe transference issues, and now..those same behaviors are presenting themselves with my T now.
My T now has asked that I work on not emailing him, and to NOT call his cell phone unless it is a dire emergency..which is hard for me because I called his cell phone bcause I knew he could help me but also because I had to hear his voice. I know that sounds lame. I tend to be dependent on people including him..and so he a asked me to make the decision to not be dependent on people at the age of 29...so I am going to try.
I just need help...I Feel so upset and confused and I want to be accepted ..I dont want to feel sick and I feel sicker than ever.
I dont want to lose the therapist that I have now..he is the best I have ever had, but I dont want him thinking that I am trying to sabatoge our therapeutic relationship and I get this feeling that that is what he thinks.
I told him today that you CAN do therapy wrong. I have heard so many people tell me that you cannot do therapy wrong...well guess what...
THEY ARE WRONG!! :)
I need to pray that I will not do anything to mess up what we have.
I need all the help I can get.A
poster:Amanda29
thread:846266
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080810/msgs/846266.html