Posted by Rigby on August 11, 2008, at 19:09:51
In reply to Re: Wedding Ring Fiasco, posted by Dinah on August 11, 2008, at 18:13:42
I completely agree. Did she think I didn't notice for five years? She seemed just absolutely floored. I don't get it.
> This probably goes against all psychoanalytic theory, but I rather wish therapists would just give brief factual answers to something that is readily apparent and brings questions. The presence or absence of a ring is as public as information on google. It's like wearing a cast and being cagey about what happened to your leg.
I was so shocked she wasn't wearing her rings I didn't think--I just blurted it out. It was the first thing that came to mind, interestingly.
> I may have asked the question in a more open ended way so that he could dodge it if he really didn't want to say anything, but my therapist would have likely answered it with a brief factual answer and no big fuss (unless he was temporarily insane, like recently).
Yeah, I wonder about this. I actually asked this out loud in my session (with no response.)
> If a therapist really wants no mention of marital status, he or she shouldn't wear their wedding rings in session.I wondered if her "did you think you caused it" thought was a psychoanalytical grab--like trying to get me to think about the dynamic between my parents and myself--but I think that's being charitable and I think she picked a really "off" time to try that if so.
> I know the more analytically trained therapists would be more likely to ask why you asked. But your therapist doesn't sound that analytic, given what you already know about her situation.I wonder.
> It's things like that that increase a client's obsession with a therapist. Make them into mythical mystical creatures.I totally agree.
> I can see where she might not want to go into her husband's affair or the horrendous fights that led to her taking off her rings. But a simple "I'm no longer married", in a tone to discourage further inquiry, is surely no more than the removal of her ring already said? Or, if it's true "I'm having them resized."Mine did something similar to me and it *infuriated* me. What I hate is having to pay to unravel this stuff when you truly believe half of the problem--at least--is theirs!
> Sigh. My therapist once lied to me about a congratulatory card sitting on his desk, signed by his coworkers, upon his engagement. I felt he had every right to keep his engagement private. But if that was his intent, he shouldn't have had the blasted card on his desk.
poster:Rigby
thread:845511
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080810/msgs/845590.html