Posted by Dinah on August 11, 2008, at 18:13:42
In reply to Wedding Ring Fiasco, posted by Rigby on August 11, 2008, at 13:12:41
This probably goes against all psychoanalytic theory, but I rather wish therapists would just give brief factual answers to something that is readily apparent and brings questions. The presence or absence of a ring is as public as information on google. It's like wearing a cast and being cagey about what happened to your leg.
I may have asked the question in a more open ended way so that he could dodge it if he really didn't want to say anything, but my therapist would have likely answered it with a brief factual answer and no big fuss (unless he was temporarily insane, like recently).
If a therapist really wants no mention of marital status, he or she shouldn't wear their wedding rings in session.
I know the more analytically trained therapists would be more likely to ask why you asked. But your therapist doesn't sound that analytic, given what you already know about her situation.
It's things like that that increase a client's obsession with a therapist. Make them into mythical mystical creatures.
I can see where she might not want to go into her husband's affair or the horrendous fights that led to her taking off her rings. But a simple "I'm no longer married", in a tone to discourage further inquiry, is surely no more than the removal of her ring already said? Or, if it's true "I'm having them resized."
Sigh. My therapist once lied to me about a congratulatory card sitting on his desk, signed by his coworkers, upon his engagement. I felt he had every right to keep his engagement private. But if that was his intent, he shouldn't have had the blasted card on his desk.
poster:Dinah
thread:845511
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080810/msgs/845576.html