Posted by Happyflower on July 4, 2008, at 10:26:59
In reply to Re: On Regard » rskontos, posted by lucie lu on July 3, 2008, at 20:40:22
Yeah, one of my favorite topics! :-) The reason you hear Carl Rogers is because he was one of the founding fathers of humanistic psychotherapy. My T believes in this soooo much, he was trained in it too and other methods.
The thing my T does is offers me and other clients acceptance with warmness, and love, and respect. He may not directly say he cares about me or loves me or accepts me, but he SHOWS me by the way he talks to me, listens to me. With this attention, I feel important, special and worthwhile and eventually it has integrated within myself where I don't need him to feel this way. Now I still have some work in that area, but within a year I have come miles in that regard. And for someone who didn't have this growing up, it feels incredible.
I feel like I am a baby bird in his nest while he teaches me and takes care of me till I am ready to be on my own.It was kinda funny one day, I brought up that he gives me unconditional positive regard, and I am the only client that ever said that or knew that.(well of course I am studying psychology) But I recognized it. Then he told me about some of his training. Now I believe this takes a T with a good sense of themselves to offer this to others at this level, they in fact need to be accepting of themselves before they can really be there in that way for clients.
All I know is that I don't question how he feels about me, I know, I can FEEL it when I am with him. So I am free to work on my issues because I have learned to count on my T and trust him. I have worked past these issues of knowing he cares, because he just does, I can feel it. It is also very healing for me to know there are some people who I can trust who won't take advantage of me.
I compare it to the relationship I have with my children. I of course tell them I love them and give them hugs but they know this already and I am not telling them this because they are questioning whether or not I do, they know through how I am with them. I don't know it that makes much sense, I am a little groggy from my sleep meds this morning.
poster:Happyflower
thread:837852
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080616/msgs/837979.html