Posted by muffled on June 30, 2008, at 10:38:13
In reply to Re: ddnos.. my ikids muffled rsk, posted by star008 on June 30, 2008, at 7:16:28
> I said the same thing to my T. That I must be making it all up and he said the same thing as yours.. Why would I?? And how could I possibly make it up? It is too real and I feel it and I can't make up the way I feel. It is kind of sad that we have to learn so much on oure own. But since all of us are then it must be common to have to search out info.
*I think the biggest problem is time. We have only 1 hr/wk w/T.
Also, I can be all switchy w/T. Or resistant. At home w/my computer it can be calmer.
FWIW knowledge seems to come in spurts. Not all at once. I can't do it all the time cuz it exhausts me, and I just don't want to.
Its not so sad really to learn on our own. T's can't know whats inside us. So most of the work is up to us.
(Though LOL! lately I been SO resistant in T lately, its a battle. I just sit there and think f it, I NOT doin NUTTIN.
Sigh...
> I have lots of resistance, i know. I am not an easy person to work with and I can't tell T things he wants to know cuz I just don't know the answers. I resist trying to communicate with my ikids cuz i feel bad when i do. I take on their feelings i guess and get even more depressed.* I dunno the answers EITHER. This newT asks me stuff and i just keep saying I dunno, its not that clear.
And I am not communicating w/ikids either. Though I have (3 times I think) had the mom me calm them and say nice mommy type stuff to them, and it WORKED. But it makes me feel weird, and anyhow, they away right now. I say the SAME thing. I don't like how they feel :-(
Maybe you can try to work w/some older ones if you have them first? Just try and sort out the adult you's if you have them? Think about who your protection is, or just journal down random thots. They sometimes coalesce when you do that. Sometimes out of a bunch of random pieces you get what I used to call an epiphany, and some stuff would fall into place.
Ya, this was on my own. T just stood by me and helped me feel safer somehow.
> I did get a few answers on a website and I think you should look it up. Google EMRD forum and it comes up first. It is called behavior online. Go to the EMDR forum. I asked questions about stuff that anyone with did, ddnos would like to know. Not many people post there so you will find it in the first couple of posts. There are archives that are helpful but you really have to look through them to finhd what you want. There is a T there there knows alot. I didn't ask about EMDR really but why i feel like it isn't real and how we can interject some personalities that just don't seem to fit.. Like the really mean ones. Hard to explain I think.. You have to read it. She told me alot about how hard it is too for us to learn this stuff on our own. Like parts of us are learning it but not ALL our parts are getting it.*I just gave it a quick pass thru now, and its interesting, I can say more bout it when I have more time to read and digest, and then there is some terminology I will have to follow up and research to fully undersdtand. I have a part called EP(emotionless protector...)but I have discovered that this part is not necc all bad...
> So right now, i guess i learn instead of acting.. thanks for helping me. it helps just to know that there are people out there who know this stuff and know exactly what I am talking about. Like IRL who are you gonna talk to about any of this without having them think you are nuts??
*Ya, learning, but listening too. Listening and trying to understand what they trying to communicate to you. Being gentle, respectful and kind to ALL of you. Even the seemingly negative parts.
Ya, sometimes i real bothered bout how its such a secret :-(
Thats why I think I hate that oldT ignores me, cuz she knows, she only 1 of two IRL people who know :-(
I agree w/what you said bout there being so little info on DDNOS. Cuz it IS diff than DID. I think everyones experience is diff, but the challenge I see w/DDNOS is that it is NOT so clear, and that makes communication much more work. Lots of confusion cuz of not knowing who is who, or even clearly being able to understand WTF they trying to say.
FRUSTRATING.
Take good care.
I busy, so maybe sometime I post more. Thx for link, this is some new ideas I most definately persue.
Take care.
FWIW, the other forum I go to, its just more support, I can ask "does anybody feel like XXX sometimes" and there usu is someone who does, even many. It makes me feel less alone and weird bout all this.
M
poster:muffled
thread:837045
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080616/msgs/837285.html