Posted by LadyBug on May 28, 2008, at 23:36:04
In reply to Re: I don't know what I'm feeling tonight..... » LadyBug, posted by Happyflower on May 28, 2008, at 9:51:37
I've been so sad all day today. Wishing I could go talk to her again. I could but I already owe her over 500 bucks. Since my not yet ex husband is in jail I get no help financially so I'm beat down financially. I had to call the IRS today because when we filed out taxes for 07 I never signed the return, he signed my name. FRAUD.........I told the lady that's why he's in jail right now.
I'm so down tonight, I was thinking how hopeless my life feels. I can't even live right now on my income alone and I have no where to turn. It takes me down to where I don't want to continue living.
Losing my T is so hard for me, it's harder than losing my husband in some ways. I know it's my choice if I go back in Sept. I just don't know if I can safely work with her anymore.
I do like my new job and the people I work with are great. They have no idea of how much I suffer inside. The anxiety level is over the top right now. I feel so alone. My kids don't even know how much I'm struggling nor do I want them to know. They will just worry. They need one safe parent they know will be there for them.
I want to hate my T but even that hurts. I don't think she cares. I keep telling myself that each day it will hurt a little less.
Thanks for all of your kind and caring words. I'm not here to draw the life out of anyone but I need somewhere to vent my feelings since I have no one right now. Part of the reason I was in therapy in the first place.
I don't deserve support right now because I have nothing left to give to anyone else.
I appreciate the support and hope that someday I can do the same for everyone here.
A few of you have asked if I take meds for depression. YUP, I do and I have for several years now. I had the dose increased about a year ago and it has helped me. I have Klonipin for anxiety, but I rarely take any of them. I don't need help to make me more tired. And I do cry, but it's from the pain and suffering I'm going through. There's a difference between crying from depression and crying from pain.
Sad and Lost LadyBug
poster:LadyBug
thread:831520
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080524/msgs/831823.html