Posted by Dinah on May 18, 2008, at 14:17:44
In reply to Re: I think it can be even better....Dinah, posted by twinleaf on May 17, 2008, at 10:35:42
> I really like the feeling of your most recent session, as you described it. Being able to let your mind flow towards things you love means that there is a basic warmth and safety between the two of you... which you don't even have to mention; it's simply there. Sessions like that one might do more for your well-being and happiness than struggling with painful traumas from the past, because you are actually having a new, good experience now.
>
> I'm especially impressed that you were able to do this, because of the major struggles you have both been going through. Now I know for sure that you are right...you have a wonderful relationship with him. It's so worth fighting for and keeping, as you have been doing.You're absolutely right. There is a foundation of warmth and safety in our relationship. It means so much to me.
But....
If I thought my therapist thought about these things as much as I do, I'd wonder whether he considered calling me out on my behavior, which was admittedly designed to charm and disarm. Or if he realized that allowing me to succeed made me feel safe in a way nothing else could do. It's so much a part of my relationship with parental figures.
My husband won't let me do it. He says no, I'm not going to let you charm me. It's very distressing to me, and I think it makes me more self protective with him than I might otherwise be.
While I had nothing specific in mind, I was aware from Tuesday through Friday that I needed to make some repairs, to restore some of what could have been potentially lost in our relationship. I didn't map it out, but I can see the pattern in what I did.
poster:Dinah
thread:829446
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080508/msgs/829795.html