Posted by Happyflower on May 16, 2008, at 11:02:58
In reply to SO good to hear....., posted by twinleaf on May 15, 2008, at 21:09:17
> How wonderful that you have formed a really loving, trusting relationship with your T in the here and now!....AND that you can count on the relationship being there even as you might eventually move into more of a mentor relationship with him. The wonderful bottom line is that you won't ever lose him, but will be able to have a meaningful connection to him in whatever way you need as you grow and change in the future. Who could ask for anything more?
Twinleaf,
I am surprised myself, it almost makes me cry because it is so tender and so caring, something I don't feel much from others. I have nobody like that in my real life, no parents, no grandparents, and for him to accept that position, means more than he will ever know.
He often tells me about his mentor soul mate who is a T, but a neuro T, they have know each other for years. I can't describe the way I feel when I am with him, so accepting, and it is genuine. I have a lot of respect for him as a T, as a person. He has been so honest with me on how it is to be a T, the mistakes he made, even erotic counter-transference. He is just a human, he is humble, and somehow that just meshes with me and what I need. But yet the respect and admiration goes both ways in us.My last T I felt kept so many things from me, we always butted heads because of his ego. He didn't like being on a pedistal, but yet when I took him off, and thought for myself, it did something to him. He had to be smarter, more witty than me. I saw him as an equal, and that bothered him I think.
He told me that I am a client that T's love to have. I really improve and it is a joy for them to see me grow, I am challenging, I have energy. It is hard for them not get caught up in the excitement.
But one thing he says that is opposite of what your T says, it that he will never say , I won't give up on you. He had a client for 18 years, that he did have to give up on. Quite the story actually, but he learned very much about boundaries and how they are so important not only for the client, but also for the T.
I am glad you have that with your T, if you told me a year ago about it, I wouldn't even get it, but I do now.
He is now supervising a T for their liscense, and I told him that I am glad because we need more experienced and good T's who are not burned out helping young T's. He accepted the compliment, I saw it meant a lot to him I said that, I saw it in his eyes.
poster:Happyflower
thread:829211
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080508/msgs/829433.html