Posted by B2chica on April 25, 2008, at 10:52:56
In reply to Understanding what is happening to me - SI trigger, posted by seldomseen on April 24, 2008, at 15:20:49
you are not the only person in ther 30's.
although i did it in HS. i stopped when i was 19. but then started again when i was 30, i stopped when i turned 33. and have only done a few SI since then. but Thought about it A LOOOOOOOT.you are NOT alone.
Self Injury is a coping skill, granted not a healthy one, but one at that. it's a way to cope with things we don't know otherwise how to deal with. extreme emotions, pain, fear, anger.
you may be SI because you have so many emotions inside that they don't know how to come out, and just sort of explode. it's their way of getting out, just not in a healthy way.
People SI for many reasons, some to feel something, some not to feel anything, some to snap out of dissociation, sometimes i didn't even know i was doing it, others it becomes ritual and an addiction, almost like having a cigarette after you get yelled at by someone. "yell at me well screw you i'm gonna go cut" -not telling them that but you thinking that", it's externalizing the internal pain you feel and instead of taking it out on other people (because you are too sensitive for that) you take it out on yourself.it may help to find another healthy outlet of expression.
sometimes something physical helps, exercise, walking, running, swimming?
sometimes expression in art pottery, drawing, painting?
sometimes in music, listening, dancing, singing?
and sometimes in literature, reading or writing it. maybe journaling would be a great start for you.
go to target or something and pick out a really cool notebook and a nice pen. and start journaling everyday, even if you have nothing to say, get in the habit of journaling for 15min everyday, trust me even if it doesn't come at first it will soon come and before you know it you will fill that notebook. the journal can be tellings of the day, drawings, scribbles, poems, whatever you want in there. it's yours. and you only have to share with your T or whomever IF you choose to.
And one the nurses told me which surprises me cuz its seems kinda like a type of SI but it works is taking an ice cube and holding it tight in your hand for as LONG as you can. yow, let me tell you it's NASTY bad! but won't leave a scar either.you probably feel a little wobbly because even though you may have thought about or had feelings about the CSA for years you probably haven't discussed it much (reprocessed it), it makes it much more real and makes you feel weird almost a little "out of it" because you are putting something that's been secret and locked away inside of you for so Very very long out in the open. and it's scary, maybe there were threats and part of you remembers those threats.
poster:B2chica
thread:825210
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080423/msgs/825389.html