Posted by rskontos on April 22, 2008, at 9:21:40
In reply to I don't know--, posted by raisinb on April 22, 2008, at 8:08:44
Raisinb, I know that probably both of my therapist, my former one and my current one would tell me if they had one. My first one shared more of herself with me times she thought about me etc. To show she thought about how it might feel to be me I think.
My thoughts first is it hard to get personal information from them because then we, who are naturally I think people that are used to shouldering too much from other people in terms of guilt, bad feelings and negative vibes, get caught up in their lives in ways that don't help us. This is part of my therapy problem too.
When you called her and her IRL interrupted you felt bad because this is part and parcel of who you are. You take on too much of the bad in a relationship (I am hearing, correct me if I am wrong). You wanted to end the conversation, she might be able to step out of the happenings on her end, but you can't.
I think maybe in her dream she got that. And she saw that you really need her to be there for her all the time when she is communicating with you or you will internalize her real life too. And that sometimes you see her as someone that steps too much out things and you don't see how the relationship affects her so you accuse her of things when what you really need is to see her feelings sometimes like you see it in her RL. The baby driving her crazy. You want evidence that you matter to her as well. That you don't roll off of her and when she departs from you there is no evidence you were ever there. Maybe she told you this dream because she finally got this?
It is inappropriate if you two don't talk it fully out and you know exactly why and there remains no unanswered questions. If you continue to question her actions, then yes it is inappropriate.
If this clears the air for you, then it was the right thing. I think the hard thing is it is up to you, to make sure she discloses all you need her to in making this dream known to you so that you have closure and know all you need to process it meaning to you as well. This is therapy for you not her. She just needs to know how to better help you, not herself. If it upset you, then telling her makes her a better therapist, if it helps then it makes her a better theapist for you.
That is best thing, to help you ultimately. Only you can answer it. So if you still have questions, you two need more dialogue. JMHO
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:824681
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/824758.html