Posted by Dinah on April 22, 2008, at 9:21:18
In reply to self esteem, how to get it?, posted by Happyflower on April 21, 2008, at 19:52:57
I think raisinb is on to something.
Also, we learned as Montessori parents to frame praise very carefully. To make praise specific and realistic. And to put the emphasis on the child's pride in himself.
I don't know though. My son and I both received a similar approach to esteem when we were young. But self esteem was never a problem with me, except in areas where I had no particular reason to esteem myself. In other words, I think my self assessment is relatively accurate. I have no problem in scampering in delight with myself in areas where I excel, or in properly being disgusted with myself. While my son seems to have more global issues with self esteem that may have at least something to do with his strong moral ideals on not evaluating anything at all.
I think it's a far more complex topic than merely how we were raised. I think it might be some alchemy on how we were raised and our innate temperament and maybe our neurochemical state.
And strangely enough, I think it has something to do with self discipline and gaining some detachment. And also in practicing radical acceptance of things in general, which would spill over to acceptance of yourself.
But I'm no huge expert. :)
Ego strength I don't see as being the same as self esteem. Related maybe.
poster:Dinah
thread:824665
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/824757.html