Posted by Nadezda on April 14, 2008, at 11:22:15
In reply to Re: confronting an old therapist) wishie, posted by llurpsienoodle on April 14, 2008, at 8:43:16
I also remember your posts, wishingstar. (I used to post under another name in the past.)
I also had the reaction that MB and LLurpsieN had. There's always going to be a bad place in your heart because of that relationship. It'll get smaller and smaller over time. As I recall, you did communicate quite clearly, in several ways, your sense of your old Ts having treated you badly, unfeelingly, and inappropriately-- even if you didn't say those words to her directly in a session.
I don't think she can give you what you hope for, sort of closure and some ability to repair of the loss that you experienced. She can't-- but time and life will do that-- they really will. I would work with your new T on letting go-- accepting that you hoped for something from your old T and that you were disappointed and hurt by her-- and on learning that sometimes you just have accept that you're hurt and angry-- but you aren't made less by it-- and finding how to let it rest.
That's extremely hard, I know-- when you drive by her house or see her car. Is there any way, even going a different way, that you could avoid her house? I think not having reminders of the old pain is better right now than bringing the memories up--- in everyday, or in a special session-- or reexperiencing the hurt and anger, disappointment and frustration all again.
My worry is that you'll do more to reopen the wounds than find comfort in having said something to her that she probably won't be any more able to respond to, than she was before.
I hope things are going really well for you,
Nadezda
poster:Nadezda
thread:823104
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/823232.html