Posted by Kath on April 13, 2008, at 20:55:33
In reply to confronting an old therapist, posted by wishingstar on April 13, 2008, at 18:47:49
Hi Wishingstar - nice to see you. Thanks for explaining, as I wasn't reading this board then.
I copied part of your post:
>I know I have to be ready for the possibility that she wont respond like I want her to. I think I'm at a place where I can handle that if it happened. I just feel the need to get SOMETHING from her, and express to her how bad it felt to me 2 years ago, so I know she hears it from me (whether she validates/agrees with it or not).
*******you're saying that you know she might not respond like you'd like her to.
Next you say:
1) you feel the need to get SOMETHING from her &
2) express to her how you felt & know she hears you.Well, as to #1, although you're prepared to not get what you WANT from her, you DO want to get something. I think it'd be important to be prepared to get NOTHING. She might simply not say anything. I mean that would be totally weird, but I think you'd need to be prepared to accept that. For ex, would you be able to handle it if she said, "I see." then silence, silence, silence.
She sounds VERY unprofessional to me, so who knows WHAT she'd do!As to #2, that seems valid & achievable. And I suspect she'd 'hear' your words....whether she'd 'hear' your feelings is another matter. Once again, she might just say "Oh. I see." silence; silence; silence.
I'm glad to hear that you'd discuss it thoroughly with your now-T.
I'm somewhat concerned in case it ends up that you're unknowingly setting yourself up to get hurt. Maybe you & your now-T could do some role-playing & you could 'feel' how it might end up feeling.
Your T sounds great! I'm so glad you have someone who is good. That other experience sounds awful & I applaud you for being brave enough to even GET another T after that experience.
I send hugs, Kath xoxo
poster:Kath
thread:823104
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/823140.html