Posted by earthmama on April 8, 2008, at 12:17:40
In reply to Emails, posted by Daisym on April 8, 2008, at 2:18:21
E-mails have been a big issue for me in my therapy. I really LIKE e-mail in general, but my therapist is just not an e-mail guy. A "rule" we have is that I can send as many e-mails as I like, but he'll only reply if I clearly state "please reply" in the e-mail. The issue is, his replies are SO short and it's really easy for me to read things into them that aren't there. I've finally realized that for me, I do like to e-mail him sometimes to do a "brain dump" and get things out of my head, but I really can't count on him for a reply that will make me feel better. If anything, they make me feel worse - first the anxiety of waiting for the response, and then the disappointly short and cryptic response. Over many months, we've talked about it a lot, and now when I REALLY need a reply (not very often) I'll remind him to please be really clear so I don't freak out, and I know he does make a real effort :) I've learned that if I really need connect with him, though, I need to call and talk on the phone - so I can hear the tone of his voice, and so I can ask questions if I'm not clear about his response. The man is just not a good e-mailer.
I hope that the e-mails will be a good way for you to maintain contact while you're gone. In my experience it took a LOT of months of e-mailing for my T and I to come to an understanding that allows the e-mails to be a positive tool instead of kind of a scary thing for me....but you have known your T for so many years, I bet you'll be able to work out the kinks much more quickly than I did :)
poster:earthmama
thread:822150
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/822205.html