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Re: Something weird is going on.....trigger maybel » raisinb

Posted by rskontos on April 1, 2008, at 20:25:07

In reply to Re: Something weird is going on.....trigger maybel » rskontos, posted by raisinb on April 1, 2008, at 9:48:43

Thanks raisinb, yes you are right it is hard work and maybe I am just lazy. It isn't that I like my parts. Do you want a part or two, I would like to give mine away and I am sure Muffled would too. It is troubling to have these dang things. I mean if I had more control but then again if I had control I would not be in therapy and I would not be dissociating all over the place.

I also don't think I am typical. I just don't.(Like there is a typical DID, that just sounds stupid, what I mean is I think I may not be completely DID but he argued with me when I brought this up a time back) Maybe my parts are just sneaking about coming out to him in a way for him to know. Heck if I know. But then if I lose a hour of time, a session plus drive time of about 10 minutes times 2 someone else has got to be in the drivers seat as it is not me, I don't remember, I mean it is a part of me not this me. I sound like a basket case. I better quit while I am ahead. And when he and I try to talk about he does not get it. At least that is how I feel. I don't know how he thinks. So do I talk about this on Thurs. when I am about to leave and not see him for a week and possibly go off by myself and freak or leave it all alone. I don't know. Maybe i will just get it out and say bye for now. I also want to say I think I want to go down to once a week. The great pretender, i have nicknamed the one I think that was present for the last session probably could convince him to do this. If she takes over again, who knows what will happen. The thing is going to therapy I felt fine. No shakiness going which I sometimes have. Uuggg this driving me crazy. Time for xanax.

Thanks for the support.

rsk

 

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