Posted by raisinb on March 25, 2008, at 10:05:27
In reply to Re: First post.... Annierose, seldom, B2c..., posted by fleeting flutterby on March 21, 2008, at 13:58:34
Flutterby, welcome!
This is a question I have really struggled with, so I can relate. I've refused to take meds for years, despite urging from parents and friends (and I once left a T for telling me I needed meds!)
I think that there is no answer that's right for everyone. So many people are helped by medication, and maybe you'll be one of them.
What helped me was to explore what taking meds symbolized for me. I felt very much like you--that my pain was a part of me, and if I medicated myself to make it go away, I'd be treating myself as I was treated as a child--shoved off to the side because I was difficult, not as happy or easy as I was supposed to be. When my former therapist insisted that I was "biologically damaged" and needed medication, I heard her saying "you're irrevocably messed up and unfixable, and I don't know how to help you except to drug you." In hindsight, I know that's probably not what she meant, but in the moment, it destroyed our relationship.
On the other hand, my refusal to take something that might help me is part of a slightly unhealthy perfectionist tendency on my part. I can't stand to admit there are flaws I can't fix alone.
My point is that I think it's very important for you, with your new T, to explore all the symbolic meanings of the conflict between two Ts, and just what taking medication *means* for you. I think that is different for everyone, and I think it's important to have a safe space to explore what those meanings are as you make these decisions.
Take care of yourself. This is a difficult issue.
poster:raisinb
thread:819183
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080321/msgs/819797.html