Posted by Racer on March 4, 2008, at 10:57:18
In reply to Re: I'm hurting so much right now » Racer, posted by seldomseen on March 4, 2008, at 10:14:19
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> o you think everything is okay "down there" with him. A lot of men don't want to talk about it. Just a thought.It's a good thought. Everything is working just fine, and he is physically capable. He even gets physically aroused around me sometimes -- usually while I'm cooking breakfast. Somehow, I see that as a sign that this is psychological, since that's about the only time he is absolutely safe from it going anywhere...
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> Also, how do you think your husband would react if you expressed these fears to him? Are you in a place in your marriage where you would feel safe doing that?I've expressed that, usually in marriage counseling, but also alone at home. He just says that there's never time, that he's too busy, that there's nothing he can do, etc. In fact, I mostly keep my mouth shut these days, because I am so sick of hearing that everything in the world is beyond his control -- the marriage counselor and I have both said that he could make the decision to do something about his time management problems, but he denies that. And I get to feeling hopeless, because I see that continuing year after year, with no change.
The past week or so, it's been much worse -- since my T made her modest proposal. Now I look at my life: I can't have children, my husband has no interest in sex with me, everything around me is a mess, I feel so overwhelmed by the sheer volume of problems I am somehow supposed to address, housework is overwhelming and I have no help with that, and there's no one to comfort me.
The good news is that it's kinda strengthening the transference with my T -- I want desperately to put my head in her lap and cry. Of course, that's also yet another area where I can't have what I need, which is not so good...
Thank you for caring.
poster:Racer
thread:815743
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080226/msgs/816109.html