Posted by rskontos on March 2, 2008, at 17:24:13
In reply to I sure hope this was a Modest Proposal (re: sex), posted by Racer on March 2, 2008, at 14:45:28
Racer, I agree with Twinleaf, it was a very moving post very heartful and it made me want for you and sad for your husband. why he can't the Racer we see. Why he won't try to be and have more. Well, I say if he won't join you then you must take care of yourself.
I think for a therapist to tell you that the option of going out of your marriage is big. I am sure your therapist really thought about this before he/she put that out there.
I also think that for you to go this long without sex in your marriage when you wish for it is hard.
My first thought when I read your post was why not. I don't think it is dirty at all, you have tried really hard to get your needs met in the marriage bed and DH said no. What else can you do except to join him in celebracy which is ok for him to decide but he made the choice for you as well. Without your input.
Please don't look into the mirror and project negative thoughts based on another's thoughts you have no way of really knowing. He has issues but you are not the issue nor the way you look. I believe you beautiful just the way you look.
I am a little confused though. If you go elsewhere for your needs, and your DH found out is he going to be angry. Or is this how you feel that you must leave the marriage in order to get your needs met.
And then there is just going for a test drive like you did with your car? To see if you still like to drive? I may be way out of line so I apologize. But hey, I too have had those thoughts. For different reasons though and not the right thread. I just want you to know you are not alone. But all kidding aside, you should have pleasure in your life especially if you miss it. For some, it would be ok. If you are not those some, then by all means see what the world has to offer you. I bet you will be surprised.
I think you are a special lady, and there are many out there I think would agree.
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:815743
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080226/msgs/815776.html