Posted by seldomseen on February 16, 2008, at 10:04:24
In reply to Re: It's so easy to describe bad therapy days., posted by DAisym on February 15, 2008, at 20:31:10
Please use landmark session at will.
The hug? Well, it took a lot of work for me to get to the place where that was alright and for it to be alright in the therapy.
My therapist and I went through some pretty tough countertransference and transference respectively. He admitted as much as did I.
We both agreed a long time ago that if the therapy was to continue that both of us would have to maintain and respect the boundaries that made therapy possible. We both agreed that my job in therapy was to do the work required to get better. His job was to help me with that work.
My feelings for him didn't change anything and vice versa. They were there in the room with us and were good. Obviously, he is a very experienced therapist.
I think the feelings that both of us had (have) are still there, but we have developed so much safety between us that aren't going to explode into something that is bad for both of us.
The hug was completely safe and that's what made it feel so good.
I don't know if you follow basketball at all, but Michael jordan used to play at UNC-Chapel Hill and his coach was Dean Smith. When Jordan's father died, he came back to Chapel Hill for an unrelated reason. When he saw Dean Smith, he started to cry - they both did. It was a mutual recognition of the pain Michael had been through, coupled with the safety and intimacy that they felt for each other.
Jordan later indicated that around Dean he didn't have to put up the front that everything was okay, that Michael was "the man" and was in charge. He could be Michael Jordan the human.
I think my experience in this last therapy session was a lot like that.
poster:seldomseen
thread:813003
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080210/msgs/813079.html