Posted by Jamal Spelling on February 16, 2008, at 3:21:05
In reply to Re: Emotional abuse » Jamal Spelling, posted by Poet on February 15, 2008, at 15:39:39
That's a good idea. Another idea I saw once is to try and visualise the person's belly button while you're talking to them. That's a good way to "humanise" them.
Next time I see him, I'm going to imagine erasing his head while talking to him.
Maybe I should try to get a different supervisor. But that could potentially backfire on me.
He's not exactly a "lowly professor". He's pretty important in what he does.
If I try to find a different supervisor, will I find one that can supervise me in the same field as what I'm doing at the moment? Will another supervisor be interested in taking me? Will I be seen as "spoilt goods" because of leaving my previous supervisor?
If I look for a different supervisor, I'll have to do it in secret. If he finds out, he'll be upset, understandably. Problem is, the prospective supervisor will want to contact the old supervisor for references on me. So I'll have to explain to the prospective supervisor that they need to keep it a secret. But then they're going to think I'm loony.
"Psst. Don't tell anyone we had this meeting. It's top secret."
It's risky. I don't know what to do. I can "be strong" for a while, but then my emotions kick in again and I feel hurt, angry and scared.
But why should I spend two years on an AP just because of him?
Like many abusive relationships, it's hard for me to escape, which is why I have to tolerate his abuse. He knows this. He knows I can't go elsewhere.
Maybe I should just cut my losses, make a clean brake and start fresh in a different field.
I'll finish my thesis probably next year though, so all I have to do is hang in there for another 18 months or so. But just the thought of meeting with him next week makes me feel physically sick with fear and worry.
He is a bully.
poster:Jamal Spelling
thread:812878
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080210/msgs/813062.html