Posted by raisinb on February 12, 2008, at 13:12:29
In reply to Re: No wonder we never talk about that » raisinb, posted by Dinah on February 12, 2008, at 12:57:50
"So... Well, maybe I should try to validate his viewpoint before I disagree with it. It just doesn't feel like it's my place to do that though, you know? Still, he's human as well as a therapist. It wouldn't hurt."
You know, that's a conflict I've run into before with mine, too. Strictly speaking, it's not the client's job to meet the T's needs, but I also feel like it's sometimes hard to see where "treatment" ends and "giving them what they need" begins. My T used to say to me, "But I want you to see me for who I am, who I present to you, what is in front of you," and I felt that while that might be a legitimate goal theoretically, it wasn't what I needed right then (which was to express anger and have it validated). I told her that was *her* need, not what was good for me right then, and she hasn't mentioned it since. I don't know if she thought I was right, or simply that it wouldn't be productive to fight about it anymore.
It is hard to know when they are right and when they are simply human.
Maybe it would be productive to have a conversation about what he really wanted (if he remembers, of course), and why. Of course, it could lead to another fight. It has certainly turned out that way many times with me and my T :)
poster:raisinb
thread:812222
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080210/msgs/812251.html