Posted by rskontos on January 18, 2008, at 10:37:36
In reply to Re: he was there....Sunnydays » rskontos, posted by sunnydays on January 17, 2008, at 21:32:53
Oh sunnydays, it is ok to want, and to dream, and I do understand that wish of that little girl. I often sob over the loss of the innocence of the little girls we all were or boys, that we were not allowed to have it. I realize now I never possessed my innocence for very long and that is sad. My own children have been allowed to have theirs. It is a gift and obligation of parents and sadly there are some parents that rob their children of theirs and we were those children. So yes dream wish and mourn the loss. It is ok. In fact I feel we must. In order to heal we have to. We have to understand that part of us. But we do have the duality of being an adult too that must live in todays world too. And that makes it even tougher. And hence our therapist must enter and help us with all of this because I think alone we can not do it. We need their help . But even the most perfect of parents that do give their children everything right the first go round don't do everything right and shouldn't. Because then children don't learn how to deal with conflict. As an trained educator, conflict management is something parents must teach their children in a structure safe environment. That is something I think we missed too. So part of the struggle we deal with in therapy is learning that too. Parents must show their children their conflicts and how they resolve them. And our therapist must do the same. I think this is when alot of us rebell against our therapist. We want the safe secure world of therapy to exist always. Anyway, go ahead and want and dream of that. Because I think it is important too. But knowing in the adult part of you, that is isn't always part of an imperfect world you then will be fine.
And you know sunnydays, I think you will. You are doing some great thinking and soul searching. With that and your t you will get to where you are going. I feel it deep down. Good luck.
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:806560
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080114/msgs/807392.html