Posted by sunnydays on January 17, 2008, at 17:45:42
In reply to New to Therapy, New T - Please Help (long), posted by Phoenix1 on January 17, 2008, at 9:01:46
> Hello,
>
> So I have had 2 sessions with a Psychologist specializing in CBT and IPT (Inter Personal Therapy). I'm not sure what to think. I'm not a good candidate for CBT apparently because I'm already very clear on what my irrational thinking is, and what healthy thoughts I should replace the irrational ones with. I just can't make the jump to make the healthy ones the automatic ones, and I have trouble stopping myself when the irrational side starts it's work. He thinks re-hashing this would be a waste of my time.*** He's probably right.
>
> We haven't "clicked", is it too early to expect this?
>**** Well, do you feel safe there? Do you feel like he has your best interests in mind? Or just like client # 17565. The 'magic' of therapy doesn't come very often, but there should be some sort of feeling of rapport, some sort of feeling of safety. Give it a couple more sessions and see if you feel anything, then you may want to ask for referrals.
> He says I seem guarded, and like I'm trying to protect myself from something. He says he feels like it is more like an interview than therapy because I'm not opening up.
**** OMG! My T said the EXACT same thing to me early in my therapy. And we get along great now. He said it felt more like question and answer, which was fine, but eventually the goal was for me to just come in and talk and him comment more rarely. I just didn't know what was ok to say and what wasn't (I now know everything is). I think that the opening up will come as you build more trust and have a better idea of what he's like and what therapy can do for you. So don't pressure yourself there. It will come when it's ready.
I don't feel any hostility towards him but I don't trust him yet either. I don't trust people easily. I am answering his questions openly and honestly and trying to provide insight. I'm certainly not hiding anything. On the flip side of the coin, I'm not feeling much empathy from him. And I think that is what I respond to the most.
**** Like I said above, sometimes that can take a while to develop. And if it's hard for you to express emotions, like it was for me, it's hard for other people (even Ts) to connect to that sometimes. Just stick in there with it and keep trying. It took me a while, but eventually I got more comfortable. Two hours with someone is not enough time to expect to trust enough to share your deepest darkest feelings.
Can you tell him you have felt sad after leaving session, about your reaction to the song, about your thoughts? That might be a way to be more open, and also to get the process going more. That's what therapy is - talking about everyday ordinary stuff that we might think is stupid or insignificant but that causes us distress. T's usually can give us some insight and better coping.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:807196
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080114/msgs/807293.html