Posted by muffled on December 24, 2007, at 0:16:38
In reply to Re: So here's a question.... » muffled, posted by Dory on December 23, 2007, at 17:25:17
> but i was forced to go without sex.. i dont want to make you feel bad or anything like that, but this is honest from the other side... i felt punished and rejected. It was painful for me. i felt very alone and very unattractive, unlovable.
*yeah, I worry bout making my hubby feel bad. I thibk it is hurting him, and damaging our relationship...which is why it is getting ever higher on my list of what I MUST deal with...
> some men withdraw sex as much as some women do and some women want sex as much as some men. There isn't any gender bias.*true
> i have problems about sex because it was used against me... from both sides of the fence, taken and given. But i know i feel better in many ways when there is sex in my life. It is best when there is love and then the sex is meaningful. i have never wanted kids so there was no intent that way. i also have gotten emotional benefit from sex which was not tied to a relationship.*sigh, this is why I SO bad want to give this to my man. I love him, but I am defective :-(
He says to me, 'I married you for better or worse'....which could be construed as an insult, but I think its his way of saying, 'I'm here for the long haul'. (((Hubby)))
> i sympathize, i empathize.. i really do. Sex is a complex thing. i suppose it's the culmination of physical affection or touch... and i can see how the psychological can override the physical drive.* LOL. Yup, something about raw terror just kinda takes all the fun outta sex!
>But for me.. even though i have been.. well.. *sigh.. on the wrong side of the power issue... the bigger issue in my life has been the lack of affection, the lack of touch. It hurts too.
*Awww dear Dory. I know your a one for touch. Which I have always found so sad, cuz you nice, you should get affection. I wish you could have touch :-( But hard for me to understand, cuz I avoid it so. Opposite poles are we on the spectrum of touch! I am lucky, I have affection.
Dory, I hope you can get what you need.
Thanks for taking time and providing your perspective on this.
Its all good for me to know.
Take good care,
M
poster:muffled
thread:802166
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/802377.html