Posted by muffled on December 23, 2007, at 19:24:00
In reply to Re: So here's a question.... long response sorry, posted by seldomseen on December 23, 2007, at 7:53:44
> Wow! I gotta say, yours is a problem that I've encountered myself.Not very repsonsive etc... Just going through the motions.
> It was sad really. Really sad.*Yeah, just doing what you got to do to get it OVER with as soon as possible.
> Well, I have a male therapist and we started talking about sex. I mean we talked about sex for years it feels like. I expressed my visions of sex and much like you, I thought it was a huge source of evil, but one I had to submit to because I was born a woman and that was part and parcel of our gender. I viewed it as bascially allowing myself to be raped.*Your brave with a MALE T!!!
I just feel like a piece of meat.
I know my hubby cares for me, but I still felt like meat.
Now even to try terrifys me.
> It was like my therapist made a vow to me to change my views about sex. He challenged me to talk about it with my male friends, my boyfriends - I mean everyone in addition to him.*and you DID!? You ARE brave!!!!!
> What I learned is that the overwhelming majority of men want the woman to be "there".*yeah....
> Yeah, they can get on top of anything and roll around (it's their nature, not bad, not good, just who men are hardwired to be)**ROFL!!! This made me laugh!!!
>but it is much better for them with a happy partner. > In short, they don't want a woman who feels obliged to do it, but who wants to.
> I took a huge chance in my latest relationship and talked about sex with my guy. I talked about my past and told him specific things that he could do, and that we could do to make sex better for me - less fear inducing and that it may be a good while before we could do it.
> He understood and for the first time in my life I had AMAZING sex.*really????? How long did it take? To be able to do it? Did you feel connected? Were you scared at first?
> Now I don't know about your DH, but it certainly sounds as though he is willing to meet you where you are and that means a lot.*yes he is a good man.
> I don't think you are obliged to do anything except to try - and not for him - but for yourself.*try what? I just CAN'T.
> Trust me. It's worth the effort. It really REALLY is.*OK. OK. I hear you. Sigh, I have in my mind a thot of how happy my hubby would be, how we could be bonded, and me not be ashamed. I DO want this to be.
Thanks seldomseen.
This is good stuff.
M
poster:muffled
thread:802166
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/802331.html