Posted by muffled on December 21, 2007, at 2:57:50
In reply to Re: Its SO weird....., posted by littleone on December 21, 2007, at 2:36:51
Whoah, had 2 lg coffee and couldn't sleep. So I laying there thinking of my kids School and ideas and how lucky I am to be able to help out there, and how kind people are to the rather eccentric Me...
Then I was thinking 'scenarios'. I realize now, that it is a way of communicating with my peeps. Things go better when I do them(scenarios). It calms my inner world. One version is I imagine I am in T and talking my people to her. It seems a WAY easier way to find out whats going on for me. I guess by talking to an 'external' person(T) its just is easier.
So anyways, I came to a scenario where I was gonna try to have that new kid talk to T(young one that I think took over when Thatkid got hurt). But when I tried to get her, a diff one was there, and I allasudden felt SO nautious, and there were feelings, but I can't remember exactly what they was, even tho I thot of what they were at the time.Seems they weren't all that strong, just kinda sad or something maybe.. But once they gone, you forget them, how they were. So I think my Mommy part was around, cuz of thinking bout school kids and how special they are B4, and my Mom part was there for Thatkid!(the one that got hurt) She felt so sad for how that kid felt, and at first all she kept saying was sorry, sorry, sorry, over and over cuz she had no words cuz she felt SO bad for thatkid. But then she talked to kid. In the right way, in the MOMMY way. And she told kid kinda a story as how: there was a beautiful picture, it was such a nice picture, but then they covered the picture with puke and pus and everything gross, and poked holes in it too. But under the gross stuff, the picture is still there, its still the same picture. And she was smart, cuz then she said as how thats the special thing of humans is we WASHABLE!!! ROFL!!! So mebbe while kid was dirtyied, the bad stuff can wash off, and while maybe her heart is forever damaged, it can heal some. The beauty that was there B4 she was hurt, is STILL there. The hurt just overshadowed it for a time. And the Mom said as how Thatkid is of FRANCHESCA!!!(Fran is the sweet beautiful innocent baby) and that Franchesca is HER(meaning Thatkid) so sweet Franchesca and Thatkid are both the SAME. Thatkid is Franchesca hurt, but still, that she is of Franchesca TOO. And then the Mom was feeling how Thatkid was feeling some again, and she didn't know what to do, so she allasudden just truly PRAYED to God, she ask God so bad, can He help that kid.
So then a bit later. I was thinking as how...WHOAH....like...that black thing in us....what if it was GONE someday. What if it WAS Thatkid and how she feels. What if we NOT bad???? For a moment we FELT how it must feel to not be bad inside. Whoah, we figger that was kinda cool all right. But then it went away again, and that blackness inside is back. But the MOM DID talk to that kid, and I dunno, but mebbe she heard her some? The Mom did a good job I think. Manoman, I even feel kinda bad for Thakid I guess. I guess. Its so weird being me. I am weird. But I am thankful too.
So this I think is first time or maybe one of the few times we ever actually felt bad for Thatkid.....honestly bad...w/o blaming her or nothing.
poster:muffled
thread:801864
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/801889.html